February 2012
4 tags
okay with okay
It terrifies me how I find my online version more interesting than the living, breathing, tangible representation I talk to everyday. There is nothing splendid in my life, but I would hardly call it dull enough to require shunning of the own. Everything is just okay. Okay, to the unfamiliar, may sound rather threatening when its dimensions cannot be approximated by an emotion, a sentiment or an...
4 tags
peeping tom
I stood, on the borders of infidelity
as I sunk my eyes on his showering
was it his arms? was it his thighs?
which left me quivering and made him
stop. I covered my mouth with my hands
trying to calm the child-in-me. and
though I sounded much without malice,
it was with malice that I could see
for every tender stream of water
washing the beach-white foam of soap
from his crimson nipples,...
4 tags
I slipped a note
on the maple bed-side table
where the enamel of a light
slept in the morning.
on the creamy, blank slate
I wept my farewells
letting a few salt beads
fall, moisten, and dry.
lost in heady slumber
after a night of cheap kisses
and wicked penetrations,
I could no longer carry the guilt.
sleeping with the enemy
what sense did I make
to cover myself in parfum
when I...
2 tags
After I finish the book I am reading, I will immerse myself in the Writer’s Bloc and follow new people. That would be a great way to incorporate new sources of inspiration in my life.
cordx:
we the broken do hereby declare our solemn right to not die a bloody mess alone in an empty room having mistaken once too often love for death
3 tags
the anatomy of lying on your chest
I nest
on your chest
take warmth
in the calm
like a boat
in the sea
up and down
up and down
my head goes
inhale, exhale
nice and easy
hearing a drum
echoing
between muscle
rib cage, veins
and skin.
3 tags
have pity, for I believed
I was too naive to live
a life full and tender
that it blossomed
even under the heat
of scarlet tears.
“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us...”
– E.E. Cummings (via kmots)
4 tags
vortex
wasn’t I magnificent! in plaid and skinny,
bone to bone, my marrow turning red
in the blink of an eye! wasn’t I magnificent?
sitting on the skyline and hovering over
horizons. did you see me skipping islands?
as I tiptoed on live wires and strings -
I was, wasn’t I? big and brave and mighty
as I threw myself like a pebble into a pond
rushing to escape a once-adored vortex.
4 tags
stripper
molten honey for a head of hair
cool, arctic blue eyes used to stare
a velvet veneer of freckled skin
crooked pearls too shy to grin
a mole on the clavicle, adornment
the birthmark on the arm, a pigment
soft trails of hair, from button down
unclothed, I am flushed, faints to the ground
2 tags
Nessun Dorma never fails to uplift me. “Dilegua, o notte! Tramontate, stelle! Tramontate, stelle! All’alba vincerò! Vincerò! Vincerò!”
1 tag
shifting gears
flawsstitchedwithgoodintentions:
most days, i feel like i’m the vehicle. i feel like i am the one driving to my destination. i feel like i’m the one controlling 378 horsepower with a supercharged engine. i feel like i embody the throaty roar that turns heads and moistens thighs. but not today, today i feel like the bug splattered on that vehicle’s windshield.
4 tags
transition
he softly grazes
and gently plows
his silhouette outlined
by hair -
and in the eve
his warm mouth expels
a summer heat
leaving vapors on my cheek
frozen as he sheds his skin
I look aside before I toss
where rivers meet the seas
so does the cool before a summer
6 tags
live, leave, forgive, forget
I’ve always kept my approach to life simple. Just live it or leave it. Numerous times, this strategy was hampered by indecisions and factors beyond my control, which quite frankly, left me frustrated, demoralized and terribly unmotivated. However, I’ve been blessed (and cursed too) with the ability to forgive easily. I leave it to people to accept my bountiful mercy; I leave it to them if they...
4 tags
misiek found me in the day,
withered, with incorrigible views
of how the world spun
alvaro took me in the night
cold, burdened with indifference
on how the world turned
and as I bathed in brilliance
and as I waded in the murky moonlight
only dusk and dawn
knew where I stood
looking at an endlessness
and yearning for gratitude.
The Night Sky →
The biggest photo of the night sky ever taken – 360-panaromic view composed of 37,000 separate photographs.
4 tags
hot nights are conducive
for loose clothing
and even easier
for tight stroking
leaving heavy beads
of sweat
leaving heady deeds
of depth
4 tags
Hindsight.
That was something he lived for. He felt that with hindsight, everything was remarkably funny, and the impact of past sorrows were lessened. In fact for him, hindsight was the only viable self-defense and guard towards the inanities of the present. Time may not have healed the infidelities, nor fixed the cracks of incongruence between others and him, but with hindsight, he could...
3 tags
Censor 'Gay', No Way →
We just heard the news: in less than a week Russian lawmakers are expected to pass a law that will silence millions by making it a crime to read, write or even discuss anything “gay.” Even worse, if this law passes in “liberal” St. Petersburg, the ruling party’s next step is to push this law nationwide.
4 tags
temporary encounters
the strobe lights kept
my shame from nakedness
standing in swollen state
free from adam’s leafy veneer
acting out a charade which
on every blinding light
became a torrid tableau
mementos from the garments
left to polish the floor
3 tags
“Regardless of what may be correct about Tchaikovsky or the society in which he...”
– On Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s sexuality, which accurately depicts mine
1 tag
1 tag
I love you.
I don’t get to say those words often. So I’m saying it now. I love you. Whoever you are. Wherever you may be. Whatever comes, I loved you and that would be all that matters.
In an effort to revive my senses and hopefully improve my writing, I’m going back to basics and purchased some classics: Dickens, Hemingway, Austen and Dostoevsky. I’m also hoping to get a couple of other books once I get my finances back in track. So less writing, and more reading.
4 tags
and though my face
was burdened with scars
my eyes sagged
with hundreds of nights awake
my arms blackened
like coal to the city’s dust
you found me beautiful
and crawled your hand up my spine
to which tingling sensation
I wrote a haiku
the only way I knew how
with pen and paper.
1 tag
“I am collecting beautiful objects. A pair of shoes. Some glasses. Telephone....”
– The Science of Sleep
4 tags
Something old, something new, something borrowed,...
he was six, and he didn’t have His eyes
his was green, and permitted only moonlight
he had, however, the same loose hair
in the wind, to calm it, was such despair
it was red, the new sheets He laid out
the last ones had been dried cheaply over air
the red was unwrinkled, and almost begging
neatly tucked in bed corners to squelch the creaking
He was hers, but I also had Him on loan
split...
4 tags
tightrope the curb
there is no neon blue.
or yellow green. or light red.
or dark brown.
there is only blue
green, red and brown.
now, if one carries his virtues accordingly
he will fear not reproach
for choosing a variation of a fact
rather for choosing without
the reassurance of a prior template.
so if I choose blue, or the ass
I do not know if god will be glad.
I cannot choose in between not to...
Anonymous asked: I met this wonderful guy in the university who reminds me of someone I loved dearly before. I just fear I might like him because he's a reminder of someone I was familiar with. Any thoughts?
4 tags
martell
my cognac, my sweetest cognac
my sweet, heady cognac
hors d’âge, muscavado brown
I tiptoe on our blend of spirits
to the heated breath of your fever
to the warmth enveloping our veins
to the resurrection of the surpassed
what made you think I will be lost forever
leaving me to fend on my own
this miserable hangover?
4 tags
I’m hardly hard to get
hardly hard to impress
but if you treat me second best
honey, then you’re just like the rest
2 tags
3 tags
discreet questions
Is it reconciliation I want?
I plant a seed of doubt in my mind every evening, once all proof of brightness is gone and the only lone spot of shining is a reflection of the day’s star.
Or is it ambivalence that I long for surreptitiously? With ambivalence, I could afford myself enough room to maneuver discontent, and control what I suppose are firm proofs of my life’s irregularity. With...
4 tags
states of matter
under the excruciating weight of his eyes
my bones broke, my muscles tore apart
captive to the endlessness of his gaze
my heart stopped, my lungs collapsed
a prisoner to his insuperable presence
my mind aroused, my soul stirred
bound to the merciless beating of his breath
my life taken, thrown to the abyss of dependence
once, I was bone in, bone out, capable
of standing still, of...
3 tags
Yesterday was awful. Grey clouds loomed and burst into afternoon showers of great strength, only to subside in a few minutes. Then the sun would come out of the thunderclouds, drying the streets and lending a humid air to the city. I was wet from the rain. I was sweating like a pig. My handkerchief could only do much to wipe the excess liquid off my face, but my back was streaming, and my arms...
burnbox:
I leave this world in a hurry, pillow in hand and a fistful of memories in the other. I step into the next one and the one after that. I live a thousand lives and die a thousand deaths. And with each of those thousand dying breaths I make a thousand wishes. The thousand moons wane and a thousand suns rise. I wake up back in this world to the soft touch of the morning light, pillow in...
1 tag
2 tags
“But man, because he has only one life to live, cannot conduct experiments to...”
– The Unbearable Lightness of Being
4 tags
caricature
when the corners of my portrait
have been rounded and steadied
and the last slither of air, sucked
from my lungs, my body deflated
to whom shall my body be of any concern?
to my folks, my friends, my epitaph, soil?
survived only by my plebeian prose and poetry
sentiments inspired by near coquetry
can a single word assuage the shadowy corners
which covered the truth of my being
from the...
4 tags
my coffee had sugar
my coffee
had sugar
which failed to melt
bitterness
darkness
I scrape the bottom of my cup.
on the tip of my tongue
the last crystals liquefy
streaming down and under
my coffee had sugar.
1 tag
Well, the man I was supposed to see today didn’t turn up. Again. I am inclined to believe there are better things ahead for me. Not so much inclined actually. More of trying to convince myself.
4 tags
treat my heart fairly
it is china
the edges are porcelain
if you let me fall
I break into pieces unseen
splinters
wounding you
and stabbing your feet.
4 tags
up
you spread up
like an old narra tree
reaching the sky
high
to no avail
you spread up
like a sweaty open palm
hands dead beat
to the darkness
and the light
you spread up
like an entwined vine
tightrope and gripping
walls and ceiling
you spread up
like smoke
billowing
towards
the reflection of the sea
3 tags
bar boy
you sound like cigarettes
and smell like whiskey
you fool around like a boy
dress like a beastie
but you listen to ella
every now and then
to make it ‘round the bend
you swing like your mother
think you sing like freddie
take two shots of tonic
so you could be ready
but you’re sober enough
every now and then
to listen to me again.
1 tag
Currently reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera.
5 tags
friends & (their) lovers
Thursday evening was as much a conversation between friends who haven’t seen each other in a while, as it was a blinding light that shone at abyss of my naivety. What I thought would be a simple rendezvous to share Midnight In Paris turned out to be an almost midnight in Manila affair, as we talked, and as I mostly listened in pardoned awe, the truth that came from experience. I was begging for...
3 tags
“All guys are blind to paperweights.”
– Best Friend, I’m still figuring out what he meant by it